Okay, get off my back everyone, I'm blogging. Man, I take a little sabbatical and you all go crazy and start treating me like Ricky Williams. Maybe I needed to get some substances out of my system before I returned to blogging. Unless you know who Ricky Williams is, you probably wouldn't get that. Well, I guess I just insulted the one person we have left reading our blog. Sorry mom. Call me later and I'll explain. I 'm making it a goal to do better with our blog and post at least once a week. I'm not making any promises, but I'll try. I'd rather do a video blog, but that takes a lot of time. I'm much better at being in front of the camera than writing. My brother Jeremy is a fantastic writer and just started a blog, The Cooper Five. You should check it out. He writes a lot, so you could probably read half of it, take a nap and then finish the rest later. His blog is like a Major League Baseball game. Ask him to post his accounting essay....zzzzzzzzzzzz. Just playing Jer-Bear.
A lot has happened since my last post. I don't have time to write about all of them, but here's a couple...
Spunky little Ashlyn has become our first child to eat soap. For the past month or so, Ashlyn has been saying things to her parents like: stupid, jerk, I hate you, idiot... you get the picture. She's also been doing her best Roberto Alomar impersonation by spitting on her parents and siblings. This child has no fear. I was punished a lot as a kid so I take it pretty easy on my children and usually let Becky perform the beatings. However, when Ashlyn spit in my face for the first time, I was pretty upset. After four years of parenting Ashlyn, I've come to realize you have to be very careful with her. She's smart. She's crafty. She's fearless. Not a lot fazes her and she enjoys playing mind games with us. She's a lot like.... well, a honey badger. Did you know that the honey badger is the "most fearless animal in the world' according to the 2002 edition of the Guinness Book of Records? They do not fear anything! They plunder bee hives, kill snakes, etc. Doesn't this sound like Ashlyn? She has an amazing mind, so coming up with a good punishment was difficult. After wiping the spit off my face, I calmly grabbed some soap from her bathroom and rubbed it over her lips. It took a little while, but then you could see Ashlyn's face sour up. Of course she went crazy and begged for water. It was sort of sad. I now feel bad, and I'm looking for other forms of punishment. If you have any ideas, please post them.
And finally, after two-and-a-half years of playing soccer, Mad Max scored his first goal. It was beautiful. It was spectacular. It was amazing. It was... a miracle. I wanted to cry. I could have walked off the field at the moment and never coached another game and been totally satisfied as a parent. Thank you Max! There's a dispute whether or not he actually scored two. I know he got one for sure, but I thought another kid got the second one. Either way, I'm proud of him. He's come a long way since that first year. For two, long, difficult seasons I would come to Max's soccer games expecting to see two things.... one, his attempts to catch imaginary butterflies, and two, his spiky, gelled hair. Max might not be the most aggressive player on the field but he's definitely the prettiest. All the other kids come to the games with snot running down their nose and bed head, but not Max. Oh no, he's got to come to our soccer games looking like Brad Pitt in glasses. However, that's what I love about Max. He lives in his own little material world. I have to admit though he's starting to catch a little of my competitive spirit especially in baseball. I'll write about that in my next blog. Thanks for reading. It's good to be back. Max, was that you? Smells like Cooper.
4 comments:
Ashlynn sounds just like my daughter...i'm wondering who learned what from who because they do the exact same thing..name calling and the spitting.
I have to say max is so stinkin' cute! Rafal always has a funny story about him after Primary class...cheers
Love your posts Jeff, I find myself LOL!! As for the soap, we did that once years ago with Kenzie. She still talks about it to this day, and always tells Madi to be good or "you might get soap and trust me you don't want it, it's so yucky!!" Good Luck with Ash, and congrat's to Max on his goal, how exciting!!
Jeffy: that's funny stuff. i must admit, posting my accounting essays is a great idea. i know my posts are long, i try to keep them short but always ending up typing more than i mean to.
caleb and ashlynn are definitely cut from the same cloth of dna (must be a cooper thing). we finally made good on our threat to wash out caleb's mouth with soap this week. it was awful, i felt like i was physically abusing my son (not to mention the emotional damage). he also likes to spit. we need to just put these two in a room together and let them cuss and spit each other out.
Aimee thought your line about me was pretty funny. It was pretty good, but I think it would have been funnier had you said that someone could start reading it to you, then you could take nap and when you wake up the person would still be reading it to you (that's more like a baseball game). Just my two cents.
Jer
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